NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Too much gin, very little bucket
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize