I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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