why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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