i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I skipped work to stalk him.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
