Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize