hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
