waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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