where does the pee come out of this thing
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
