i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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