Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
