OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize