so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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