Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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