a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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