I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize