Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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