There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize