well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
