So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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