and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
