one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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