Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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