He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
