I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
