Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize