I smell stomach acid.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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