her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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