dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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