I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
