he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Randomize
