true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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