did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
