Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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