You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
