some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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