walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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