every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My dick has a subreddit
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
