shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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