Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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