I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
