I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
