I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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