that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize