mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
