too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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