Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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