can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
