susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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