Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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