Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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