also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
