so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
