I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
please come you make the beer taste better
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
