fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I think I sprained my soul last night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
