No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
