Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize