On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
