And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
