That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
