I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize