My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want to stick my p in your. b.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
