He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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