put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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