I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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