my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Just pee around me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize